So I think I'm done with this blogging thing...
Monday, September 26, 2005
Thursday, September 08, 2005
"Do you get that a lot, Mr. Cheney?"
p.s., you're fired
In case you still haven't seen it: Cheney runs into trouble with the locals
Frau for America management apologizes for the lack of posts recently. The return of our imaginary interns to their respective universities has hit us pretty hard logistically. We'll be back to our normal clip soon.
In case you still haven't seen it: Cheney runs into trouble with the locals
Frau for America management apologizes for the lack of posts recently. The return of our imaginary interns to their respective universities has hit us pretty hard logistically. We'll be back to our normal clip soon.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
No one in Colorado is fat
The results are in, and home-sweet-home Colorado is once again declared the skinniest state in the nation. Which, it seems, is simply further proof of Coloradans moral and genetic superiority. Fatass.
NYT Quote of the Day
Did he really say that?
"Hadley Arkes, a professor at Amherst College and a leading social conservative legal thinker, called the letter delicious because of its elucidation of potential tensions among conservative views..."
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Verlyn Klinkenborg blows my mind (and yours, too)
Happy Transcendent Epiphany Tuesday!
Iraq. Gaza. Intelligent design. John Roberts. Pat Robertson. Northwest strike. Avian flu. London bombers.
Reading the news this morning was enough to make us here at Frau for America want to hurl ourselves out the window and never look back. However, upon the realization that we work on the third floor and would probably just end up with a broken leg and lots of medical bills, we chose instead to present our dear readers and fellow exasperated liberals with two stories that might actually make you happy (or at least a little less depressed):
Grasping the Depth of Time as a First Step in Understanding Evolution
by Verlyn Klinkenborg
Here's an excerpt for all you non-link-clickers:
That is a lot to absorb and, not surprisingly, many people refuse to absorb it. Nearly every attack on evolution - whether it is called intelligent design or plain creationism, synonyms for the same faith-based rejection of evolution - ultimately requires a foreshortening of cosmological, geological and biological time.
Humans feel much more content imagining a world of more human proportions, with a shorter time scale and a simple narrative sense of cause and effect. But what we prefer to believe makes no difference. The fact that life on Earth has arrived at a point where it is possible for humans to have beliefs is due to the steady ticking away of eons and the trial and error of natural selection.
Evolution is a robust theory, in the scientific sense, that has been tested and confirmed again and again. Intelligent design is not a theory at all, as scientists understand the word, but a well-financed political and religious campaign to muddy science. Its basic proposition - the intervention of a designer, a k a God - cannot be tested. It has no evidence to offer, and its assumptions that humans were divinely created are the same as its conclusions. Its objections to evolution are based on syllogistic reasoning and a highly selective treatment of the physical evidence.
Accepting the fact of evolution does not necessarily mean discarding a personal faith in God. But accepting intelligent design means discarding science. Much has been made of a 2004 poll showing that some 45 percent of Americans believe that the Earth - and humans with it - was created as described in the book of Genesis, and within the past 10,000 years. This isn't a triumph of faith. It's a failure of education.
and, even better.... (seriously, read all the way to the end)
Base-closing dims Republican star
August 22, 2005
BY ROBERT NOVAK SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
The Base Realignment and Closure Commission will have finished its work by week's end, and Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota probably will be closed forever. That also will close Sen. John Thune's tenure as national Republican poster boy following his victory last year over Senate Democratic leader Tom Daschle. This is a cautionary tale of what happens when politicians forget politics.
President Bill Clinton saved Ellsworth for Daschle during the last BRAC process in 1995, but President Bush was detached in 2005. The resulting closure demolishes Thune's home-state prestige and threatens Republican domination of western South Dakota (where Ellsworth is located) by eliminating 6,000 civilian jobs. Local political setbacks may be reversed, but damage to Thune as a national fund-raiser and candidate-recruiter seems irrevocable. He has been transformed from regular to maverick. Bush might ask himself: Is closing one air base worth this?
BRAC's defenders say the price is not too high because no military installations could be closed if politics prevailed. Yet, to ignore Thune and consider Ellsworth the same as big-state base closings contradicts the image of a White House that puts politics first. The Bush team looked like tone-deaf, old-fashioned Republicans interested more in going by the book than winning elections.
Thune has declined to speak on the record until the BRAC process is finished, but he clearly is no happy warrior. Were it not for Bush, Thune would be finishing his third year as governor of South Dakota. Anxious to regain control of the Senate in the 2002 elections, the president pressured Thune to challenge Democratic Sen. Tim Johnson. Thune lost by 524 votes thanks to questionable election procedures, but instead of protesting, he moved on to challenge Daschle.
While Thune's conservatism was more in tune with South Dakota than Daschle's liberalism, the Democratic floor leader argued he could do more for the state. Campaigner Daschle told how in 1995 the Air Force marked Ellsworth for closure and he went to Clinton. The president telephoned the Pentagon to take Ellsworth off the list before it reached the BRAC.
Thune tried the same thing this year, but Bush withheld himself from the process. The new senator talked to Vice President Dick Cheney, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Bush political adviser Karl Rove and Cheney aide Scooter Libby. But the same people who could not do enough for candidate Thune could do nothing for Sen. Thune. The Air Force, still smarting from Clinton's intervention, made the Ellsworth closing stick this time.
As Republican poster boy, Thune had been in nationwide demand as the Daschle-slayer. In May, he shut down those efforts to concentrate on Ellsworth, declining over 100 invitations after raising $2 million in one week. He effectively resigned as a recruiter for Senate candidates on grounds that his own experience was disillusioning. The early favorite as National Republican Senatorial Committee chairman for the crucial 2008 elections is now off the list.
When the year began, Thune's political future seemed unlimited. He was young (44), handsome, articulate, conservative. Now, he is becoming a ''Son of the Wild Jackass'' familiar to the Great Plains. Seeking separation from the White House, Thune came out against confirmation of John Bolton as United Nations ambassador and broke with Bush by opposing the Central American Free Trade Agreement.
North Dakota's Kent Conrad and Byron Dorgan, two of the most partisan Democrats in the Senate, were able to save Grand Forks Air Force Base even though it fell below Ellsworth in most measurements. Former Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Ronald Fogleman's firm received $400,000 from the city of Grand Forks to argue its case. An Air Force old boy exercised more clout than a rising GOP politician.
Thune's political plea that fell on deaf ears at the White House cannot even be offered to the nonpolitical commission. The South Dakotans argue that closing their base would save only $252 million and could cost as much as $1.75 billion over 20 years. Chances that the BRAC will accept those numbers and keep the base open? About 15 percent. Like Harry Truman, Thune has found it hard to find a friend in Washington.
Iraq. Gaza. Intelligent design. John Roberts. Pat Robertson. Northwest strike. Avian flu. London bombers.
Reading the news this morning was enough to make us here at Frau for America want to hurl ourselves out the window and never look back. However, upon the realization that we work on the third floor and would probably just end up with a broken leg and lots of medical bills, we chose instead to present our dear readers and fellow exasperated liberals with two stories that might actually make you happy (or at least a little less depressed):
Grasping the Depth of Time as a First Step in Understanding Evolution
by Verlyn Klinkenborg
Here's an excerpt for all you non-link-clickers:
That is a lot to absorb and, not surprisingly, many people refuse to absorb it. Nearly every attack on evolution - whether it is called intelligent design or plain creationism, synonyms for the same faith-based rejection of evolution - ultimately requires a foreshortening of cosmological, geological and biological time.
Humans feel much more content imagining a world of more human proportions, with a shorter time scale and a simple narrative sense of cause and effect. But what we prefer to believe makes no difference. The fact that life on Earth has arrived at a point where it is possible for humans to have beliefs is due to the steady ticking away of eons and the trial and error of natural selection.
Evolution is a robust theory, in the scientific sense, that has been tested and confirmed again and again. Intelligent design is not a theory at all, as scientists understand the word, but a well-financed political and religious campaign to muddy science. Its basic proposition - the intervention of a designer, a k a God - cannot be tested. It has no evidence to offer, and its assumptions that humans were divinely created are the same as its conclusions. Its objections to evolution are based on syllogistic reasoning and a highly selective treatment of the physical evidence.
Accepting the fact of evolution does not necessarily mean discarding a personal faith in God. But accepting intelligent design means discarding science. Much has been made of a 2004 poll showing that some 45 percent of Americans believe that the Earth - and humans with it - was created as described in the book of Genesis, and within the past 10,000 years. This isn't a triumph of faith. It's a failure of education.
and, even better.... (seriously, read all the way to the end)
Base-closing dims Republican star
August 22, 2005
BY ROBERT NOVAK SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
The Base Realignment and Closure Commission will have finished its work by week's end, and Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota probably will be closed forever. That also will close Sen. John Thune's tenure as national Republican poster boy following his victory last year over Senate Democratic leader Tom Daschle. This is a cautionary tale of what happens when politicians forget politics.
President Bill Clinton saved Ellsworth for Daschle during the last BRAC process in 1995, but President Bush was detached in 2005. The resulting closure demolishes Thune's home-state prestige and threatens Republican domination of western South Dakota (where Ellsworth is located) by eliminating 6,000 civilian jobs. Local political setbacks may be reversed, but damage to Thune as a national fund-raiser and candidate-recruiter seems irrevocable. He has been transformed from regular to maverick. Bush might ask himself: Is closing one air base worth this?
BRAC's defenders say the price is not too high because no military installations could be closed if politics prevailed. Yet, to ignore Thune and consider Ellsworth the same as big-state base closings contradicts the image of a White House that puts politics first. The Bush team looked like tone-deaf, old-fashioned Republicans interested more in going by the book than winning elections.
Thune has declined to speak on the record until the BRAC process is finished, but he clearly is no happy warrior. Were it not for Bush, Thune would be finishing his third year as governor of South Dakota. Anxious to regain control of the Senate in the 2002 elections, the president pressured Thune to challenge Democratic Sen. Tim Johnson. Thune lost by 524 votes thanks to questionable election procedures, but instead of protesting, he moved on to challenge Daschle.
While Thune's conservatism was more in tune with South Dakota than Daschle's liberalism, the Democratic floor leader argued he could do more for the state. Campaigner Daschle told how in 1995 the Air Force marked Ellsworth for closure and he went to Clinton. The president telephoned the Pentagon to take Ellsworth off the list before it reached the BRAC.
Thune tried the same thing this year, but Bush withheld himself from the process. The new senator talked to Vice President Dick Cheney, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Bush political adviser Karl Rove and Cheney aide Scooter Libby. But the same people who could not do enough for candidate Thune could do nothing for Sen. Thune. The Air Force, still smarting from Clinton's intervention, made the Ellsworth closing stick this time.
As Republican poster boy, Thune had been in nationwide demand as the Daschle-slayer. In May, he shut down those efforts to concentrate on Ellsworth, declining over 100 invitations after raising $2 million in one week. He effectively resigned as a recruiter for Senate candidates on grounds that his own experience was disillusioning. The early favorite as National Republican Senatorial Committee chairman for the crucial 2008 elections is now off the list.
When the year began, Thune's political future seemed unlimited. He was young (44), handsome, articulate, conservative. Now, he is becoming a ''Son of the Wild Jackass'' familiar to the Great Plains. Seeking separation from the White House, Thune came out against confirmation of John Bolton as United Nations ambassador and broke with Bush by opposing the Central American Free Trade Agreement.
North Dakota's Kent Conrad and Byron Dorgan, two of the most partisan Democrats in the Senate, were able to save Grand Forks Air Force Base even though it fell below Ellsworth in most measurements. Former Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Ronald Fogleman's firm received $400,000 from the city of Grand Forks to argue its case. An Air Force old boy exercised more clout than a rising GOP politician.
Thune's political plea that fell on deaf ears at the White House cannot even be offered to the nonpolitical commission. The South Dakotans argue that closing their base would save only $252 million and could cost as much as $1.75 billion over 20 years. Chances that the BRAC will accept those numbers and keep the base open? About 15 percent. Like Harry Truman, Thune has found it hard to find a friend in Washington.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
"Our Liberties We Prize, and Our Rights We will Maintain"
What is a Hawkeye, anyway?
From Hotline, courtesy of Nick:
John Edwards continues his blistering early travel pace for a WH candidate. Yesterday it was WA (for four separate public events), later this week, it's IA. More importantly, Edwards just got the nod to keynote the ever popular Harkin Steak Fry next month.
-- The Steak Fry-related IA visit will mark Edwards' 4th separate trip to IA this year, far ahead of any other potential WH '08er (except Vilsack, of course). BTW, he's been to a total of 27 states for events this year (not counting NC).
-- What's been, perhaps, most remarkable about Edwards' early strategy has not been in his travel schedule (though future WH hopefuls should take note of the advantages of being out of office), it's been his message positioning.
-- While it seems some Dems are racing to the middle, Edwards seems to be getting more comfortable being to the left of say, Hillary Clinton or Evan Bayh. His state-by-state push for increasing the minimum wage is likely music to Andy Stern's ears and Elizabeth Edwards' outspoken support for Cindy Sheehan is no doubt music to the liberal blogosphere ears. Interesting that, among WH '08 Dems, only EdwardsWorld has publicly lauded Sheehan.
And a note from the infirmary: Failing most traditional remedies (like sleep), I am now employing a highly scientific blend of Tylenol, Halls Mento-Lyptus, hot tea and chicken noodle soup in a mostly futile effort to cure myself of aformentioned flu-like symptoms. Any other remedy suggestions are welcome.
From Hotline, courtesy of Nick:
John Edwards continues his blistering early travel pace for a WH candidate. Yesterday it was WA (for four separate public events), later this week, it's IA. More importantly, Edwards just got the nod to keynote the ever popular Harkin Steak Fry next month.
-- The Steak Fry-related IA visit will mark Edwards' 4th separate trip to IA this year, far ahead of any other potential WH '08er (except Vilsack, of course). BTW, he's been to a total of 27 states for events this year (not counting NC).
-- What's been, perhaps, most remarkable about Edwards' early strategy has not been in his travel schedule (though future WH hopefuls should take note of the advantages of being out of office), it's been his message positioning.
-- While it seems some Dems are racing to the middle, Edwards seems to be getting more comfortable being to the left of say, Hillary Clinton or Evan Bayh. His state-by-state push for increasing the minimum wage is likely music to Andy Stern's ears and Elizabeth Edwards' outspoken support for Cindy Sheehan is no doubt music to the liberal blogosphere ears. Interesting that, among WH '08 Dems, only EdwardsWorld has publicly lauded Sheehan.
And a note from the infirmary: Failing most traditional remedies (like sleep), I am now employing a highly scientific blend of Tylenol, Halls Mento-Lyptus, hot tea and chicken noodle soup in a mostly futile effort to cure myself of aformentioned flu-like symptoms. Any other remedy suggestions are welcome.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Underdone overkill aftermath
An elaborate weekend wrap-up post was scheduled for this morning, but we here at Frau for America seem to be experiencing some serious flu-like sympoms. Thus, posting is suspended until further notice.
-The Management
-The Management
Monday, August 01, 2005
One, two, three, four...
Who ya gonna caucus for?
So, like every good American, I was reading John DiStaso's Granite Status in the Manchester Union-Leader this morning, when the following sidebar caught my eye:
SPORTS COLUMNS
Jim Fennell
Joe Sullivan
OUTDOORS
John Harrigan
Stacey Cole
LISTINGS
NH businesses
NH events
NH links
NH nightlife
NH sex offenders
Which really begs the question: What is more disturbing, the sidebar or that it's August 2005 and I'm already reading the Union-Leader on a daily basis?
And just for good measure, Slate lays out much more eloquently than I could why HRClinton will never be elected president: But why can't Hillary win?
"...Yet Hillary does face a genuine electability issue, one that has little to do with ideology, woman-hating, or her choice of life partner. Plainly put, it's her personality. In her four years in the Senate, Hillary has proven herself to be capable, diligent, formidable, effective, and shrewd. She can make Republican colleagues sound like star-struck teenagers. But she still lacks a key quality that a politician can't achieve through hard work: likability. As hard as she tries, Hillary has little facility for connecting with ordinary folk, for making them feel that she understands, identifies, and is at some level one of them. You may admire and respect her. But it's hard not to find Hillary a bit inhuman. Whatever she may be like in private, her public persona is calculating, clenched, relentless—and a little robotic.
With the American electorate so closely divided, it would be foolish to say that Hillary, or any other potential nominee, couldn't win. And a case can be made that the first woman who gets elected president will need to, as Hillary does, radiate more toughness than warmth. But in American elections, affection matters. Democrats lost in 2000 and 2004 with candidates Main Street regarded as elitist and aloof, to a candidate voters related to personally. Hillary isn't as obnoxious as Gore or as off-putting as Kerry. But she's got the same damn problem, and it can't be fixed."
So, like every good American, I was reading John DiStaso's Granite Status in the Manchester Union-Leader this morning, when the following sidebar caught my eye:
SPORTS COLUMNS
Jim Fennell
Joe Sullivan
OUTDOORS
John Harrigan
Stacey Cole
LISTINGS
NH businesses
NH events
NH links
NH nightlife
NH sex offenders
Which really begs the question: What is more disturbing, the sidebar or that it's August 2005 and I'm already reading the Union-Leader on a daily basis?
And just for good measure, Slate lays out much more eloquently than I could why HRClinton will never be elected president: But why can't Hillary win?
"...Yet Hillary does face a genuine electability issue, one that has little to do with ideology, woman-hating, or her choice of life partner. Plainly put, it's her personality. In her four years in the Senate, Hillary has proven herself to be capable, diligent, formidable, effective, and shrewd. She can make Republican colleagues sound like star-struck teenagers. But she still lacks a key quality that a politician can't achieve through hard work: likability. As hard as she tries, Hillary has little facility for connecting with ordinary folk, for making them feel that she understands, identifies, and is at some level one of them. You may admire and respect her. But it's hard not to find Hillary a bit inhuman. Whatever she may be like in private, her public persona is calculating, clenched, relentless—and a little robotic.
With the American electorate so closely divided, it would be foolish to say that Hillary, or any other potential nominee, couldn't win. And a case can be made that the first woman who gets elected president will need to, as Hillary does, radiate more toughness than warmth. But in American elections, affection matters. Democrats lost in 2000 and 2004 with candidates Main Street regarded as elitist and aloof, to a candidate voters related to personally. Hillary isn't as obnoxious as Gore or as off-putting as Kerry. But she's got the same damn problem, and it can't be fixed."
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Mundane is the new punk
"Yeah, I think I heard that, too"*
With the heat index here in the good ol' D of C hitting 104 yesterday and forcast for 110 today, it's much too hot to really talk about anything serious.
So first, a fluffy little human interest story about the congressional version of Animal House on the Hill. For those of you who don't have an LA Times account set up, well, do you know how many Pulizers that paper's won in the past five years? Sign up for a free account already. Geez.
Also, if anybody can think of a good reason I shouldn't treat myself to these boots, I'd like to hear it.
*get it?
With the heat index here in the good ol' D of C hitting 104 yesterday and forcast for 110 today, it's much too hot to really talk about anything serious.
So first, a fluffy little human interest story about the congressional version of Animal House on the Hill. For those of you who don't have an LA Times account set up, well, do you know how many Pulizers that paper's won in the past five years? Sign up for a free account already. Geez.
Also, if anybody can think of a good reason I shouldn't treat myself to these boots, I'd like to hear it.
*get it?
Monday, July 18, 2005
Cashing in and checking out
I made a deal with the Devil, and all I got was this stupid T-shirt
From today's Philly Inquirer: A top Santorum aide is gay
For those of you who don't want to sign in, here are a few highlights:
According to PageOneQ, an online gay and lesbian publication, director of communications Robert L. Traynham, who grew up in the Philadelphia area, said that he was an "out gay man who completely supports the senator."
Santorum, the third-ranking Republican in the Senate leadership, has been an outspoken opponent of homosexual rights and a leading proponent of a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.
In supporting the Federal Marriage Amendment, which would prohibit same-sex marriage, Santorum has equated homeland security with the sanctity of traditional marriage. He has referred to gay marriage as "messing with the basic family unit."
During an interview with the Associated Press two years ago about a challenge to the constitutionality of Texas's sodomy law, Santorum said that if the Supreme Court allowed gay sex at home (which it ultimately did), "you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything."
On the marriage issue, Santorum also said: "In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be."
My two cents: Either this guy is the biggest sellout of all time, or, more likely, he isn't gay at all.
Say you're a conservative senator from a moderate state in a tough re-election battle who would like to someday run for president. You need to appease the moderates back home without alienating the conservative donors you'll need later on. What could be more genius that to make one of your most loyal staffers "come out" and then stand by him like the good family man you are? Everybody wins.
Rick Santorum is a lot of things, but he sure isn't dumb.
From today's Philly Inquirer: A top Santorum aide is gay
For those of you who don't want to sign in, here are a few highlights:
According to PageOneQ, an online gay and lesbian publication, director of communications Robert L. Traynham, who grew up in the Philadelphia area, said that he was an "out gay man who completely supports the senator."
Santorum, the third-ranking Republican in the Senate leadership, has been an outspoken opponent of homosexual rights and a leading proponent of a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.
In supporting the Federal Marriage Amendment, which would prohibit same-sex marriage, Santorum has equated homeland security with the sanctity of traditional marriage. He has referred to gay marriage as "messing with the basic family unit."
During an interview with the Associated Press two years ago about a challenge to the constitutionality of Texas's sodomy law, Santorum said that if the Supreme Court allowed gay sex at home (which it ultimately did), "you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything."
On the marriage issue, Santorum also said: "In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be."
My two cents: Either this guy is the biggest sellout of all time, or, more likely, he isn't gay at all.
Say you're a conservative senator from a moderate state in a tough re-election battle who would like to someday run for president. You need to appease the moderates back home without alienating the conservative donors you'll need later on. What could be more genius that to make one of your most loyal staffers "come out" and then stand by him like the good family man you are? Everybody wins.
Rick Santorum is a lot of things, but he sure isn't dumb.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Dear woman on the Metro,
Hello there. Hello? Ma'am? Yes, you with the fanny pack and puffy-painted visor, I'm talking to you. Hi.
I can discern by your derisive glances and frequent sighing that you believe I should offer you my seat. You keep looking at the 'Priority Seating for the Elderly and Disabled' sign and muttering about how "people aren't like this in Toledo." I keep upping the volume on my iPod, and yet somehow, I can still hear you.
'Priority Seating for the Elderly and Disabled.' How old could you be? Forty? Forty-five? I usually have a knack for guessing ages, but I've got to admit that your over-processed hair and seemingly endless profusion of chins does throw me just a little.
Yes, I realize it is a very hot day and all of those foreign-made patriotic knick knacks from the Smithsonian are getting quite heavy (Five T-shirts for $10? How could you resist? Especially that one with the 'DC' that looks like the Calvin Klein logo. Adorable!). Perhaps if you did not have to lumber around with thighs the size of tree trunks, you would not be sweating so profusely?
I might be more forgiving if you'd quit trying to act like you live here. Your Dress Barn get-up gave you away the second you stepped onto the train, and your inability to stop gaping at the gay couple in front of you just seals the deal. Yes, it looks like you are going to have to have a long talk with the kiddies on the flight home about how those two dads and their little girl are an "abomination against God" that is "destroying the moral fabric of America." You sure do have that patriotism thing down.
So please, stop with the glances and the sighing and get used to the idea that in a big city you sometimes have to stand up on the train. No matter how fat you are.
Frau
And just to prove that there are no hard feelings, how about I give you directions to this great little antique shop I found in Anacostia? Oh yes, take the kids. They'll love it.
I can discern by your derisive glances and frequent sighing that you believe I should offer you my seat. You keep looking at the 'Priority Seating for the Elderly and Disabled' sign and muttering about how "people aren't like this in Toledo." I keep upping the volume on my iPod, and yet somehow, I can still hear you.
'Priority Seating for the Elderly and Disabled.' How old could you be? Forty? Forty-five? I usually have a knack for guessing ages, but I've got to admit that your over-processed hair and seemingly endless profusion of chins does throw me just a little.
Yes, I realize it is a very hot day and all of those foreign-made patriotic knick knacks from the Smithsonian are getting quite heavy (Five T-shirts for $10? How could you resist? Especially that one with the 'DC' that looks like the Calvin Klein logo. Adorable!). Perhaps if you did not have to lumber around with thighs the size of tree trunks, you would not be sweating so profusely?
I might be more forgiving if you'd quit trying to act like you live here. Your Dress Barn get-up gave you away the second you stepped onto the train, and your inability to stop gaping at the gay couple in front of you just seals the deal. Yes, it looks like you are going to have to have a long talk with the kiddies on the flight home about how those two dads and their little girl are an "abomination against God" that is "destroying the moral fabric of America." You sure do have that patriotism thing down.
So please, stop with the glances and the sighing and get used to the idea that in a big city you sometimes have to stand up on the train. No matter how fat you are.
Frau
And just to prove that there are no hard feelings, how about I give you directions to this great little antique shop I found in Anacostia? Oh yes, take the kids. They'll love it.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
A non-apology apology
with a head-fake toward contrition...
hatchling42:(frau) i mean, if we can both take enough time out of whoring around d.c. to get this done...
*******: we're far from "whoring around dc"
*******: but i know what you mean
*******: i'm not the one who travels across town for my escapades
hatchling42: its not so bad... i stayed on the red line!
******* good point. it's not like you had to transfer.
hatchling42:(frau) i mean, if we can both take enough time out of whoring around d.c. to get this done...
*******: we're far from "whoring around dc"
*******: but i know what you mean
*******: i'm not the one who travels across town for my escapades
hatchling42: its not so bad... i stayed on the red line!
******* good point. it's not like you had to transfer.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Here for the party
and I ain't leavin' til they throw me out
Heard during Circle of Death, round five:
Nick: Norman Mineta.
Joel: FUCK!
(silence)
Katy: Did you guys know they're coming out with a digital Teddy Ruxpin?
Heard during Circle of Death, round five:
Nick: Norman Mineta.
Joel: FUCK!
(silence)
Katy: Did you guys know they're coming out with a digital Teddy Ruxpin?
Attention DC lesbians:
If you want to get picked up, all you have to do is wear a T-shirt that says "Maneater" on the front to the Washington Sports Club in Dupont Circle.
Really.
Really.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Rage blackout
I'll be honest with ya, kids. It's hot, and I'm tired. So instead of writing my own post about this very upsetting article, I'm just going to link to fellow angry liberal blogger Chadnfrood: Mr. Toad's Girls Gone Wild Ride.
I expect you all to join us in observing Buy a Queer a Beer Day this weekend. Like I've always said, if you can't fight The Man, at least drink until you can't remember why you're angry.
I expect you all to join us in observing Buy a Queer a Beer Day this weekend. Like I've always said, if you can't fight The Man, at least drink until you can't remember why you're angry.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Dear DC tourists,
Walk left. Stand right.
Tip 20 percent. Don't be an asshole.
It really is that simple.
Love,
Frau
Tip 20 percent. Don't be an asshole.
It really is that simple.
Love,
Frau
Thursday, June 02, 2005
How to Succeed in College (Without Really Trying)
The final list, in no particular order
Get involved with the student newspaper, if only for the parties.
Don’t trust frat boys.
Try to keep your GPA above a 3.2. Beyond that, it really, really doesn't matter.
Don't accept free condoms from campus organizations. You have no idea how long they’ve been sitting around.
As soon as you get there, register to vote. You can print out a voter registration form for Douglas County, KS here: http://www.douglas-county.com/clerk/voteapp1.asp
Go to the student health center, and get a prescription for emergency contraception. You might never need it, but if you do, every hour is crucial and the doctor's waiting room is about the last place you'll want to be.
Don't bother buying a "rape whistle," but take your cell phone everywhere.
Don't feel like you need to join every student organization on campus. Find one or two you really like, put a lot of energy into them and you’ll be running them by your junior year.
Keep a running list of what you need at Target. You probably won't make it there very often, so you don't want to forget anything.
Find some original artwork. No Van Gogh, John Belushi or Ramones posters – everyone has them. Basically, if you can buy it on campus, you shouldn't buy it.
Never ever turn down a road trip, provided it's going to be taken with people you like. No matter how much work you have to do or how little money you have to spend, you will never, ever regret a road trip. Leaving town at 3 a.m. for a spur of the moment drive to New Orleans may sound like a terrible idea, but it's not. Just go.
You won't actually know who you want to be friends with until sometime during your second semester. During the first three months or so, everyone is so desperate for acceptance that they act far nicer and more interesting than they actually are -- everyone's true personality will emerge sometime before the end of the year, and then you'll know who to befriend and who to begin ritually ignoring.
Don't shoot Bacardi 151 or Everclear. It's a terrible idea. The consequences are never pretty.
If the police show up to break up a party you're throwing, all you need to do is act really relieved to see them. Say, "Thank God you're here. Please help me break this party up -- it's gotten out of control!" They'll be a little confused by your cooperation at first, but then they'll probably just give you a lecture on responsible party throwing and leave you alone. (ed note: this works best if you’re a girl)
The student health center is a great place to get a quick prescription; if you're truly sick go see a real doctor.
You can be the smartest person in the room and still fail a test.
If you don't study abroad at least one semester you'll regret it.
Don't go grocery shopping on the weekend -- it's when everyone else in town goes. Find a 24-hour store and go late at night.
When you get to town, find a diner with greasy food. You'll need it later.
What you learn in the classroom will be useful someday; what you learn out of the classroom will be useful every day.
Boulevard beer is only available in 11 states -- and Kansas is one of them. So enjoy it while you can.
If you have a bad feeling about a future roommate, don't live with the person. Don't be optimistic.
Long-distance relationships have a low survival rate. The best plan of action is to break up when you go away to school, be free to figure things out, and, should you want to be with the person, get back together in October-ish.
Make friends with people who take good notes in class. Or, be the friend who takes good notes in class. We need both positions filled to keep the system going for slackers.
If you attend 80 percent of lectures, you will receive a B in the class. Maybe a B+ if you also take notes. All you have to do is show up, and not fall asleep. It's harder than it sounds.
A 9 a.m. class in college is like a 5 a.m. class in high school. Avoiding 9 (and probably 10) a.m. classes isn't lazy, it's smart.
If you're drunk and trying to sleep but you can't because you feel like you're spinning, let one foot hang off of your bed and touch the floor. You'll feel like you're spinning around that foot, and you'll fall right asleep.
Don't bother trying to study in your dorm room. It never, ever works.
Either do the reading or attend the lecture. Both is a waste of time and neither is usually a disaster.
Spend at least a semester waiting tables while you're in college. Not only will you make a ton of money, but you'll also have something to fall back on when you graduate and discover the job market has gone to shit.
Spend a weekend in your roommate/new friend/loser-down-the hall's small
town.
Have at least one friend with a major different than yours.
Buy air freshener.
Panera is the best, hands-down the best, cure for a hangover.
GPAs seem to stay up if they begin up, but start low and it's only an uphill battle. A 4.0 right off the bat gives a nice foundation, a couple of 4-point 'A's later on hardly make a dent.
Live close to downtown wherever you go -- less money for gas, no chance of drinking and driving, food close by, and usually cuter, unique apartments.
A little time getting to know a professor in office hours goes a long way when a grade is in jeopardy.
Only get sloppy drunk once a week. Usually, if you get drunk a second time you either A) make out with an ugly person B) vomit C) confess your love to someone who you've had a crush on forever but is already taken or D) go broke. Or all of the above.
When signing up for classes, find out which professors are GOOD -- not necessarily easy. Talk to people who have taken classes you are interested in and find out which professors people actually have genuine affection for, and sign up for their classes. Liking the professor can make a boring class legendary. A bad professor can ruin what you thought you wanted to make a career out of.
If you actually attend class and study regularly during the semester, finals week is relatively painless. If you don’t, finals week may be a living hell.
If you must give your professor an excuse, don't lie. If you missed the exam because you got arrested for throwing beer bottles at a fraternity house the night before, just say so. We have heard every lie in the book and recognize them as such. Frankly, we do not really care why you missed the exam just that you understand that you fucked up and will not let it happen again.
Choose your roommates very carefully. It's funny how that nice, cool person you sat next to in Biology turns into a complete psycho freak after you sign a lease together.
Do not overuse Febreeze. It doesn't take the smell of smoke and/or sweat out of your clothes.
Always keep your room stocked with Gatorade/Powerade.
Learn how to play poker.
Definitely have a bike -- walking is boring and takes forever. Just know that some asshole will probably steal said bike before it's all said and done.
If a professor says there "might" be a curve, there WILL be a curve. There is always a curve, thank God.
Soda is toxic. You will have an unlimited supply in the dining halls, but your teeth will look like my grandpa's do right now. Did I mention he's been dead for 20 years? (ed note: this does not include Diet Coke, which is an essential life force)
When you return from school for the first time at Thanksgiving, all your friends from home will act like they absolutely love college, and you will agree just to avoid offending the current. Realize they are all lying. It takes at least a semester to meet anybody you actually like.
Never assume your professor won't let you turn in a paper late; they almost always will. And without any penalty.
Don't ever take a drink of any kind from a guy you don’t know and trust. Get your own
drinks, preferably so you can see the beer come straight from the keg.
Realize that dorm existence is one of the lowest forms of living ever created; it's slightly higher than county lockup. Slightly
Once out of the dorms, find a place to live that's close enough to walk to class/bars/parties
You might think you don't like drinking, but you do, you just don't know it. There are many kinds of beers, after those are exhausted you have flavored liqueurs and mixed drinks to try. I hear raspberry vodka and sprite is pretty tasty.
Cooking is not hard. You can learn how to cook at least four things that are cheap and take 30 minutes. Just follow the directions. This way you'll still be able to eat ramen noodles once you graduate.
It's better to puke the night of drinking than the day after. It's okay if you have to induce, but never use your toothbrush for this purpose.
Drink water and take a couple of Advil after a night of drinking before you go to bed.
Don't ever pick up the deposit/rent for some other person. Even if you think that person is your BFF.
Try to meet new people every semester or at least every year. They are out there, and they just might make you realize that the first friends you made on campus are all horrible, horrible people.
Don't send e-mails to any class listservs
When questions of race/bias of some kind come up, keep quiet. You won't believe what some people will say when they a) think your silence means you agree with them and b) don't realize you're half Mexican.
Once you find cool people, take road trips. These are your responsibility as a college student. Mom and Dad don't have to know.
You can give or take the other drugs, but if anyone ever offers you
mescaline, I don't care if you have a drug test tomorrow, take it and thank
me later.
Don't buy your books in advance. Chances are you'll change your schedule and have to return them after classes start. It's also a good excuse for not doing the reading for the first two weeks of class.
Actually think about what classes you have to take. Yes geology fills that requirement, but why take that when a perfectly easy anthropology lab can do the same? This is when knowing a couple upperclassmen can help -- they've flunked econ. 4 from the bad professor and can point out the one to take it from.
Get a campus job. It doesn't pay that well but you can always say you were there 5-10 hours a week longer than you actually were.
When you think it's time to do shots, it's actually time to go home.
Do not, do not date someone in the dorm. Random makeouts are
encouraged, friends with benefits are great, but an actual boyfriend?
Un-unh. At some point you'll want alone time, but that's not possible
when he lives 7 feet away.
As soon as possible, memorize the number of someone who is willing to
pick you up late into the night/early in the morning at some point far
from campus after a night in which you've lost your phone, cash, ID to
get into the dorms and possibly even keys.
Two Advil and a glass of water before falling asleep (passing out)
will eliminate 90 percent of hangovers.
Should you find yourself in a reverse sleep pattern, awake all night and
sleeping well into the day, staying up all night and trying to stick it out
through the day won't fix the problem. You might make to a class or two,
but you'll still probably fall asleep early enough in the day that you'll be
awake when it's night again anyway.
Any party, gathering, or festival that advertises an unlimited amount of
alcohol for a fixed price is your friend. Look especially for events named
something along the lines of "(type of alcoholic drink) fest".
Arrive about 15-30 minutes after the advertised start time, so you have
people to mingle with right when you get there, this is called being
'fashionably late'.
Don't be 'unfashionably late'. In my mind, this means arriving when the
alcohol is in short supply or has run out completely.
There is much late-night/early-morning fun to be had in your local
24-hour Wal-Mart.
Professors are never as dumb as you think they are.
Most of the time, doing something late is better than never doing it at
all. Even if you're not going to get credit, it shows you at least care a
little. Professors like that kind of thing.
Inter-dorm and even intra-dorm room IMing is a normal and natural part of
going to college. If god had wanted us to communicate face-to-face, he
wouldn't have invented the intrawebs.
An iPod and a brisk walk should ward off most of the people trying to
thrust pamphlets into your hands. If that doesn't work, glaring and.or
spitting should keep them away.
The primary purpose of college is determining who you are. Feel free to experiment with anything (anyone) that (who) is unlikely to cause permanent damage (disease).
Get involved with the student newspaper, if only for the parties.
Don’t trust frat boys.
Try to keep your GPA above a 3.2. Beyond that, it really, really doesn't matter.
Don't accept free condoms from campus organizations. You have no idea how long they’ve been sitting around.
As soon as you get there, register to vote. You can print out a voter registration form for Douglas County, KS here: http://www.douglas-county.com/clerk/voteapp1.asp
Go to the student health center, and get a prescription for emergency contraception. You might never need it, but if you do, every hour is crucial and the doctor's waiting room is about the last place you'll want to be.
Don't bother buying a "rape whistle," but take your cell phone everywhere.
Don't feel like you need to join every student organization on campus. Find one or two you really like, put a lot of energy into them and you’ll be running them by your junior year.
Keep a running list of what you need at Target. You probably won't make it there very often, so you don't want to forget anything.
Find some original artwork. No Van Gogh, John Belushi or Ramones posters – everyone has them. Basically, if you can buy it on campus, you shouldn't buy it.
Never ever turn down a road trip, provided it's going to be taken with people you like. No matter how much work you have to do or how little money you have to spend, you will never, ever regret a road trip. Leaving town at 3 a.m. for a spur of the moment drive to New Orleans may sound like a terrible idea, but it's not. Just go.
You won't actually know who you want to be friends with until sometime during your second semester. During the first three months or so, everyone is so desperate for acceptance that they act far nicer and more interesting than they actually are -- everyone's true personality will emerge sometime before the end of the year, and then you'll know who to befriend and who to begin ritually ignoring.
Don't shoot Bacardi 151 or Everclear. It's a terrible idea. The consequences are never pretty.
If the police show up to break up a party you're throwing, all you need to do is act really relieved to see them. Say, "Thank God you're here. Please help me break this party up -- it's gotten out of control!" They'll be a little confused by your cooperation at first, but then they'll probably just give you a lecture on responsible party throwing and leave you alone. (ed note: this works best if you’re a girl)
The student health center is a great place to get a quick prescription; if you're truly sick go see a real doctor.
You can be the smartest person in the room and still fail a test.
If you don't study abroad at least one semester you'll regret it.
Don't go grocery shopping on the weekend -- it's when everyone else in town goes. Find a 24-hour store and go late at night.
When you get to town, find a diner with greasy food. You'll need it later.
What you learn in the classroom will be useful someday; what you learn out of the classroom will be useful every day.
Boulevard beer is only available in 11 states -- and Kansas is one of them. So enjoy it while you can.
If you have a bad feeling about a future roommate, don't live with the person. Don't be optimistic.
Long-distance relationships have a low survival rate. The best plan of action is to break up when you go away to school, be free to figure things out, and, should you want to be with the person, get back together in October-ish.
Make friends with people who take good notes in class. Or, be the friend who takes good notes in class. We need both positions filled to keep the system going for slackers.
If you attend 80 percent of lectures, you will receive a B in the class. Maybe a B+ if you also take notes. All you have to do is show up, and not fall asleep. It's harder than it sounds.
A 9 a.m. class in college is like a 5 a.m. class in high school. Avoiding 9 (and probably 10) a.m. classes isn't lazy, it's smart.
If you're drunk and trying to sleep but you can't because you feel like you're spinning, let one foot hang off of your bed and touch the floor. You'll feel like you're spinning around that foot, and you'll fall right asleep.
Don't bother trying to study in your dorm room. It never, ever works.
Either do the reading or attend the lecture. Both is a waste of time and neither is usually a disaster.
Spend at least a semester waiting tables while you're in college. Not only will you make a ton of money, but you'll also have something to fall back on when you graduate and discover the job market has gone to shit.
Spend a weekend in your roommate/new friend/loser-down-the hall's small
town.
Have at least one friend with a major different than yours.
Buy air freshener.
Panera is the best, hands-down the best, cure for a hangover.
GPAs seem to stay up if they begin up, but start low and it's only an uphill battle. A 4.0 right off the bat gives a nice foundation, a couple of 4-point 'A's later on hardly make a dent.
Live close to downtown wherever you go -- less money for gas, no chance of drinking and driving, food close by, and usually cuter, unique apartments.
A little time getting to know a professor in office hours goes a long way when a grade is in jeopardy.
Only get sloppy drunk once a week. Usually, if you get drunk a second time you either A) make out with an ugly person B) vomit C) confess your love to someone who you've had a crush on forever but is already taken or D) go broke. Or all of the above.
When signing up for classes, find out which professors are GOOD -- not necessarily easy. Talk to people who have taken classes you are interested in and find out which professors people actually have genuine affection for, and sign up for their classes. Liking the professor can make a boring class legendary. A bad professor can ruin what you thought you wanted to make a career out of.
If you actually attend class and study regularly during the semester, finals week is relatively painless. If you don’t, finals week may be a living hell.
If you must give your professor an excuse, don't lie. If you missed the exam because you got arrested for throwing beer bottles at a fraternity house the night before, just say so. We have heard every lie in the book and recognize them as such. Frankly, we do not really care why you missed the exam just that you understand that you fucked up and will not let it happen again.
Choose your roommates very carefully. It's funny how that nice, cool person you sat next to in Biology turns into a complete psycho freak after you sign a lease together.
Do not overuse Febreeze. It doesn't take the smell of smoke and/or sweat out of your clothes.
Always keep your room stocked with Gatorade/Powerade.
Learn how to play poker.
Definitely have a bike -- walking is boring and takes forever. Just know that some asshole will probably steal said bike before it's all said and done.
If a professor says there "might" be a curve, there WILL be a curve. There is always a curve, thank God.
Soda is toxic. You will have an unlimited supply in the dining halls, but your teeth will look like my grandpa's do right now. Did I mention he's been dead for 20 years? (ed note: this does not include Diet Coke, which is an essential life force)
When you return from school for the first time at Thanksgiving, all your friends from home will act like they absolutely love college, and you will agree just to avoid offending the current. Realize they are all lying. It takes at least a semester to meet anybody you actually like.
Never assume your professor won't let you turn in a paper late; they almost always will. And without any penalty.
Don't ever take a drink of any kind from a guy you don’t know and trust. Get your own
drinks, preferably so you can see the beer come straight from the keg.
Realize that dorm existence is one of the lowest forms of living ever created; it's slightly higher than county lockup. Slightly
Once out of the dorms, find a place to live that's close enough to walk to class/bars/parties
You might think you don't like drinking, but you do, you just don't know it. There are many kinds of beers, after those are exhausted you have flavored liqueurs and mixed drinks to try. I hear raspberry vodka and sprite is pretty tasty.
Cooking is not hard. You can learn how to cook at least four things that are cheap and take 30 minutes. Just follow the directions. This way you'll still be able to eat ramen noodles once you graduate.
It's better to puke the night of drinking than the day after. It's okay if you have to induce, but never use your toothbrush for this purpose.
Drink water and take a couple of Advil after a night of drinking before you go to bed.
Don't ever pick up the deposit/rent for some other person. Even if you think that person is your BFF.
Try to meet new people every semester or at least every year. They are out there, and they just might make you realize that the first friends you made on campus are all horrible, horrible people.
Don't send e-mails to any class listservs
When questions of race/bias of some kind come up, keep quiet. You won't believe what some people will say when they a) think your silence means you agree with them and b) don't realize you're half Mexican.
Once you find cool people, take road trips. These are your responsibility as a college student. Mom and Dad don't have to know.
You can give or take the other drugs, but if anyone ever offers you
mescaline, I don't care if you have a drug test tomorrow, take it and thank
me later.
Don't buy your books in advance. Chances are you'll change your schedule and have to return them after classes start. It's also a good excuse for not doing the reading for the first two weeks of class.
Actually think about what classes you have to take. Yes geology fills that requirement, but why take that when a perfectly easy anthropology lab can do the same? This is when knowing a couple upperclassmen can help -- they've flunked econ. 4 from the bad professor and can point out the one to take it from.
Get a campus job. It doesn't pay that well but you can always say you were there 5-10 hours a week longer than you actually were.
When you think it's time to do shots, it's actually time to go home.
Do not, do not date someone in the dorm. Random makeouts are
encouraged, friends with benefits are great, but an actual boyfriend?
Un-unh. At some point you'll want alone time, but that's not possible
when he lives 7 feet away.
As soon as possible, memorize the number of someone who is willing to
pick you up late into the night/early in the morning at some point far
from campus after a night in which you've lost your phone, cash, ID to
get into the dorms and possibly even keys.
Two Advil and a glass of water before falling asleep (passing out)
will eliminate 90 percent of hangovers.
Should you find yourself in a reverse sleep pattern, awake all night and
sleeping well into the day, staying up all night and trying to stick it out
through the day won't fix the problem. You might make to a class or two,
but you'll still probably fall asleep early enough in the day that you'll be
awake when it's night again anyway.
Any party, gathering, or festival that advertises an unlimited amount of
alcohol for a fixed price is your friend. Look especially for events named
something along the lines of "(type of alcoholic drink) fest".
Arrive about 15-30 minutes after the advertised start time, so you have
people to mingle with right when you get there, this is called being
'fashionably late'.
Don't be 'unfashionably late'. In my mind, this means arriving when the
alcohol is in short supply or has run out completely.
There is much late-night/early-morning fun to be had in your local
24-hour Wal-Mart.
Professors are never as dumb as you think they are.
Most of the time, doing something late is better than never doing it at
all. Even if you're not going to get credit, it shows you at least care a
little. Professors like that kind of thing.
Inter-dorm and even intra-dorm room IMing is a normal and natural part of
going to college. If god had wanted us to communicate face-to-face, he
wouldn't have invented the intrawebs.
An iPod and a brisk walk should ward off most of the people trying to
thrust pamphlets into your hands. If that doesn't work, glaring and.or
spitting should keep them away.
The primary purpose of college is determining who you are. Feel free to experiment with anything (anyone) that (who) is unlikely to cause permanent damage (disease).
Monday, May 16, 2005
How to succeed in college (without really trying)
In about a week I'll be heading back to Denver for my little sister's high school graduation. I am, of course, going to buy her a fabulous (if yet to be determined) graduation gift, but I thought it would also be nice to pull together a little sisterly advice as she heads off to school far(ish) from home. It turns out, though, that I didn't learn a whole lot from college, and that's where you come in. I need you to send me two or three things you learned in college that you wish you'd known when you started. Here is the beginning of my list, just to give you a jumping off point:
1. If you're drunk and trying to sleep but you can't because you feel like you're spinning, let one foot hang off of your bed and touch the floor. You'll feel like you're spining around that foot, and you'll fall right asleep.
2. Don't bother trying to study in your dorm room. It never, ever works.
3. Either do the reading or attend the lecture. Both is a waste of time and neither is usually a disaster.
4. Spend at least a semester waiting tables while you're in college. Not only will you make a ton of money, but you'll also have something to fall back on when you graduate and discover the job market has gone to shit.
So feel free to make them as general and obvious or totally random as you want -- and no topics are off limits. Please send to frauforamerica@hotmail.com or to my gmail address. I thank you and my presently innocent little sister thanks you.
1. If you're drunk and trying to sleep but you can't because you feel like you're spinning, let one foot hang off of your bed and touch the floor. You'll feel like you're spining around that foot, and you'll fall right asleep.
2. Don't bother trying to study in your dorm room. It never, ever works.
3. Either do the reading or attend the lecture. Both is a waste of time and neither is usually a disaster.
4. Spend at least a semester waiting tables while you're in college. Not only will you make a ton of money, but you'll also have something to fall back on when you graduate and discover the job market has gone to shit.
So feel free to make them as general and obvious or totally random as you want -- and no topics are off limits. Please send to frauforamerica@hotmail.com or to my gmail address. I thank you and my presently innocent little sister thanks you.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Karma, pt. deux
or, Turns out the joke is on South Dakota
There's nothing better than when bad things happen to people who deserve them.
Thune dealt political blow as South Dakota is targeted
By MARY CLARE JALONICK
Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON (AP) _ South Dakota Sen. John Thune, the Republican
who defeated Minority Leader Tom Daschle by campaigning on his
close ties to the White House, was dealt a political setback with
the Pentagon's decision to close Ellsworth Air Force Base at Rapid
City, S.D.
At the end of the heated campaign last fall, Daschle used
Ellsworth as an example of his clout in Washington, claiming to
have kept the base off the list during the last round of closures
when Bill Clinton was president.
Thune's campaign countered that Daschle's role as leader of
Bush's opposition would be a liability during the base closure
process.
Thune, who was lobbied by Republicans at the highest level to
challenge Daschle, said Friday that South Dakota did what it could
to keep the base open.
"The Ellsworth Task Force has done everything it can to date,
and we will continue to do everything we can in the future," he
said, referring to the Rapid City group that has lobbied Washington
officials for the base. "I will help lead the fight in the Senate
to delay this BRAC round."
He said last month that he gave the "full court press to inform
and impress" the Pentagon. He said he used his position on the
Senate Armed Services Committee to get questions on the record to
Pentagon officials, has written numerous letters and talked to
several Pentagon leaders in an effort to save the base.
Thune also said he talked to Vice President Dick Cheney about
saving Ellsworth before he was sworn in earlier this year.
Ellsworth has 29 B-1B bombers, half the nation's fleet of the
aircraft. They will be deployed to Dyess Air Force Base in Texas,
which has the remainder of the nation's B-1B fleet.
Its missile silos, once scattered across western South Dakota,
were deactivated after the Cold War ended in the early 1990s.
An Air Force study last year estimated that Ellsworth has an
annual $278 million economic impact on South Dakota, including its
$161 million annual payroll.
And, just to put it all in perspective, a few quotes from Thune and Frist about how a vote for Tom Daschle was a vote to close Ellsworth:
Thune:
"It puts Ellsworth in a lot stronger position than having someone who's going to be in the minority and someone who doesn't have a relationship with the president of the U.S." [AP, 4/16/2004]
Daschle merely "claims to have worked with President Clinton in 1995 to keep Ellsworth from closing." [John Thune Op-Ed, Rapid City Journal, 4/24/2004]
"I think we have got to have somebody that has a relationship with the President of the United States, can work constructively across party lines in the congress to get this done if we're going save Ellsworth." [KSFY/KOTA debate 10-17-2004]
"An all-Democratic congressional delegation would have little political influence if President Bush is elected to a second term." [Rapid City Journal, 10/27/2004]
Frist:
While campaigning for John Thune is Rapid City, SD, Senator Bill Frist told reporters that "he would take Thune's counsel in recommending his two members to the commission." He later claimed that electing Thune to Senate would actually be more beneficial to the future of Ellsworth than keeping then-Minority Leader Tom Daschle in office. Frist said of the base closure process, "This time around, the president is appointing who's on that BRAC commission, all of them. You (congressional leaders) can make recommendations. I'll be making specific recommendations as majority leader, but the president makes the appointments. It is their decision," Frist said. "Who is the president going to listen to more? The majority leader of the Senate, who he works with on almost a daily basis, or a senator from another party who every day is saying things on the floor that demonstrate a lack of support?" [Rapid City Journal, 5/24/2004]
"Walk me through this base and show me the tremendous benefit that this Ellsworth Base could have … Especially if we have and can capture the potential of expanding that mission, and so I very much say we should postpone it for a couple of years to allow for this opportunity." [KOTA-TV, http://www.kotatv.com/localnews/story.asp?ID=18923, 5/23/2004]
Well, I guess none of that was true. It's okay though. The 9 percent of Rapid City residents who are going to lose their jobs have John Thune's "heartland values" to comfort them. And pay their rent. And heat their homes. And feed their kids.
Say, do heartland values offer a pension?
There's nothing better than when bad things happen to people who deserve them.
Thune dealt political blow as South Dakota is targeted
By MARY CLARE JALONICK
Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON (AP) _ South Dakota Sen. John Thune, the Republican
who defeated Minority Leader Tom Daschle by campaigning on his
close ties to the White House, was dealt a political setback with
the Pentagon's decision to close Ellsworth Air Force Base at Rapid
City, S.D.
At the end of the heated campaign last fall, Daschle used
Ellsworth as an example of his clout in Washington, claiming to
have kept the base off the list during the last round of closures
when Bill Clinton was president.
Thune's campaign countered that Daschle's role as leader of
Bush's opposition would be a liability during the base closure
process.
Thune, who was lobbied by Republicans at the highest level to
challenge Daschle, said Friday that South Dakota did what it could
to keep the base open.
"The Ellsworth Task Force has done everything it can to date,
and we will continue to do everything we can in the future," he
said, referring to the Rapid City group that has lobbied Washington
officials for the base. "I will help lead the fight in the Senate
to delay this BRAC round."
He said last month that he gave the "full court press to inform
and impress" the Pentagon. He said he used his position on the
Senate Armed Services Committee to get questions on the record to
Pentagon officials, has written numerous letters and talked to
several Pentagon leaders in an effort to save the base.
Thune also said he talked to Vice President Dick Cheney about
saving Ellsworth before he was sworn in earlier this year.
Ellsworth has 29 B-1B bombers, half the nation's fleet of the
aircraft. They will be deployed to Dyess Air Force Base in Texas,
which has the remainder of the nation's B-1B fleet.
Its missile silos, once scattered across western South Dakota,
were deactivated after the Cold War ended in the early 1990s.
An Air Force study last year estimated that Ellsworth has an
annual $278 million economic impact on South Dakota, including its
$161 million annual payroll.
And, just to put it all in perspective, a few quotes from Thune and Frist about how a vote for Tom Daschle was a vote to close Ellsworth:
Thune:
"It puts Ellsworth in a lot stronger position than having someone who's going to be in the minority and someone who doesn't have a relationship with the president of the U.S." [AP, 4/16/2004]
Daschle merely "claims to have worked with President Clinton in 1995 to keep Ellsworth from closing." [John Thune Op-Ed, Rapid City Journal, 4/24/2004]
"I think we have got to have somebody that has a relationship with the President of the United States, can work constructively across party lines in the congress to get this done if we're going save Ellsworth." [KSFY/KOTA debate 10-17-2004]
"An all-Democratic congressional delegation would have little political influence if President Bush is elected to a second term." [Rapid City Journal, 10/27/2004]
Frist:
While campaigning for John Thune is Rapid City, SD, Senator Bill Frist told reporters that "he would take Thune's counsel in recommending his two members to the commission." He later claimed that electing Thune to Senate would actually be more beneficial to the future of Ellsworth than keeping then-Minority Leader Tom Daschle in office. Frist said of the base closure process, "This time around, the president is appointing who's on that BRAC commission, all of them. You (congressional leaders) can make recommendations. I'll be making specific recommendations as majority leader, but the president makes the appointments. It is their decision," Frist said. "Who is the president going to listen to more? The majority leader of the Senate, who he works with on almost a daily basis, or a senator from another party who every day is saying things on the floor that demonstrate a lack of support?" [Rapid City Journal, 5/24/2004]
"Walk me through this base and show me the tremendous benefit that this Ellsworth Base could have … Especially if we have and can capture the potential of expanding that mission, and so I very much say we should postpone it for a couple of years to allow for this opportunity." [KOTA-TV, http://www.kotatv.com/localnews/story.asp?ID=18923, 5/23/2004]
Well, I guess none of that was true. It's okay though. The 9 percent of Rapid City residents who are going to lose their jobs have John Thune's "heartland values" to comfort them. And pay their rent. And heat their homes. And feed their kids.
Say, do heartland values offer a pension?
Monday, May 09, 2005
Make mine a double
From today's Kids' Post:
Want Fries With THIS?
If your summer plans include a dream vacation in Australia, you might want to skip eating at Jo's Brasserie in Broadbeach. The restaurant was fined $30,000 for health problems, including rodents and a massive fungus.
But what really unnerved people was the dead rat covered with thick red paint on the newly painted floor. Apparently it was easier to paint over the rat than to remove it.
********************
Frau for America endorses the Comic Foundry, which I spent the better part of my lunch hour reading. There are few things in the world I care less about than comics, but the site is pretty, and I loved the columns.
********************
I am getting ready to do some housekeeping here on the site, as well as considering a complete overhaul. If there are any blogs you, my loyal readers, think should be linked from here or if you have any ideas for the rennovation, shoot an email to frauforamerica@hotmail.com.
Thanks
The Management
Want Fries With THIS?
If your summer plans include a dream vacation in Australia, you might want to skip eating at Jo's Brasserie in Broadbeach. The restaurant was fined $30,000 for health problems, including rodents and a massive fungus.
But what really unnerved people was the dead rat covered with thick red paint on the newly painted floor. Apparently it was easier to paint over the rat than to remove it.
********************
Frau for America endorses the Comic Foundry, which I spent the better part of my lunch hour reading. There are few things in the world I care less about than comics, but the site is pretty, and I loved the columns.
********************
I am getting ready to do some housekeeping here on the site, as well as considering a complete overhaul. If there are any blogs you, my loyal readers, think should be linked from here or if you have any ideas for the rennovation, shoot an email to frauforamerica@hotmail.com.
Thanks
The Management
